Not a hint of actual beef or beef flavoring in the ingredients list. All I had to show for my work was an empty bag, a sore tongue, and a bloated belly full of onion and garlic salt. Maybe I should finally leave school and get a job.īut 275 grams later (I know, the metric system, ugh), I still hadn’t found the beef. Always hoping that this next town, this next degree, this next chip, this was the one that would make the difference.
Maybe I should ditch the backpack for a fancy satchel. This wasn’t just about the elusive beef flavor now. As the salt coursed through my body, my tongue started rebelling with those little bumps that burn so good. Maybe the beef was at the bottom of the bag. My breath smelled like I had licked a wet cow, not eaten a dead one. I took an entire chip into my mouth expecting the taste of steaks and freedom, which are basically synonymous. An affordable, potato-based beef jerky, if you will. It sounded like a delicious steak in chip form. The bag promised me a rich, beefy flavor topped with onion and garlic. And so for 20 years I boycotted anything remotely “oriental”-flavored. They probably taste bad and might be racist. Always wash your hands before preparing food and never eat oriental flavored things. Which was unfortunate, because when I was ten, I had Hepatitis A and vomited every time I took a shower and every time I ate Oriental-Flavored Top Ramen. Upon opening, the bags puffed out a smell reminiscent of Oriental-Flavored Top Ramen. It felt like home whispering to me, a slow and steady chant of U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! fighting through the deluge of world-class, state-subsidized education and healthcare.įifteen minutes later, I was back on my couch with a bag of Estrella’s Double Beef & Onion potato chips. It was a tangible piece of America in the desolate social democratic landscape that is Sweden. The stars, lassos, and longhorn cattle skulls staring back at me were just too tempting. I walked by the brown bag the last time at the grocery store. Estrella’s Double Beef & Onion Potato Chips
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